Reframing commitment
On change, fluidity and rewriting the story
Many of you will be familiar with the concept of choosing a word for the year ahead. Some make the choice in January, swept along with the energy of the new calendar year; I (Eleanor) usually choose one just after Samhain (31st October) to coincide with a new cycle of the Wheel. It’s a practice that has stayed with me for many years, offering a gentle nudge or reminder when life feels adrift, ebbing and flowing with significance depending on circumstances and context.
This cycle of the Wheel was no different, and though it took until mid November to find a word (not unusual) I eventually settled on ‘commit’. I wrote in my journal:
I commit to living my truth.
I commit to the practices and rhythms that nourish me and help me to feel truly alive.
I commit to always remembering my roots.
I commit to the joy of being alive and present.
I commit to my life.
After a full year (pretty much) of sustaining a monthly lunar journaling practice, creating my lunar and seasonal altars and experimenting with other wild rituals, I felt confident that choosing the word ‘commit’ was simply a deepening of everything I had already been moving through.
Then, of course, with aptly-timed irony, I promptly stopped doing all of these things. I didn’t journal for weeks. My seasonal altar remained unchanged. I didn’t go out walking as often. And rather than feeling alive and present, I found myself burrowing under the duvet for just that little bit longer each and every morning, reluctant to begin the day. Initially I put it down to either the impact of winter (which each year seems to drag me into an even slower state), or the fact I’ve been solo parenting since 2nd January as my husband completes a stint of work in Antarctica (he won’t return until later in March). The combination of both these factors could certainly explain a lot, but with the tentative return of the light (and even a little sun!), I find myself reflecting on why else committing has felt so difficult.
Shifting from crone to empress energy
Firstly, there’s been a definite identity shift brewing beneath the surface, something I’ve been feeling since last August. For most of my life I’ve identified strongly with crone, sage or wise woman energy (I have so much earthy Capricorn in my birth chart so not surprising!), and I’ve always enjoyed occupying this space, seeking and sharing knowledge and showing up as a grounded and stable presence. But lately this particular archetype hasn’t resonated as strongly.
Back at Samhain I pulled some oracle cards that signalled a shedding of this crone energy, and a welcoming in of ‘earth mother’ or empress energy. Still elementally connected with the earth, this archetype is more about sensuousness, a body-based wisdom that encourages pleasure, joy and love. Immediately I felt a yes in my body. This was what I wanted more of. And while my inner wise woman might want to follow rituals and commit to regularity, my inner empress is much more about listening to my body’s needs, following its desires and nourishing my soul. Both are of the earth, both are rooted and real - but my inner empress is definitely more joyful, more spontaneous, ready to nurture parts of myself that perhaps have been neglected for too long.
Reframing commitment
In light of the realisation of this shift, I considered choosing a new word for the year, having so spectacularly thwarted the original commitments I had crafted. But then I realised it was an opportunity to stay the course and honour my own fluidity - to reframe and rewrite what being committed means for me in this season of my life.
So here are my reframed commitments for the months ahead:
I commit to honouring my body’s needs and desires.
I commit to nurturing the parts of myself that have been neglected or forgotten.
I commit to finding ways to love myself and my life.
I commit to being curious about what it is I truly want.
I commit to the joy of being alive.
Looking back, they’re not drastically different to those I wrote a few months ago, but they feel very distinct for me. Perhaps I will return and rewrite these again in a few months, or perhaps they’ll offer me guidance I can’t yet fully appreciate, but the process of paying them attention, of sitting and allowing their new form to emerge, has been where the real wisdom and magic lies.
I’d love to know: do you choose a word for the year? How has yours been guiding you so far?
I could absolutely relate to much in your post, Eleanor, and I so enjoyed the humor with which you wrote it. Choosing a word for the year has not been my practice, and I have been on a kind of half-conscious journey to try to listen more deeply to and within myself, as the noise of this world and of the expectations of others that I have internalized has been so overwhelming.
I am often awake, sleepless, at 3 in the morning, and I have found this to be an excellent time to take stock of myself. One wee hour recently, the question "How can I live more faithfully?" came into my mind, and I realized that was an excellent question to guide me through this phase in my life when so much I can't control feels chaotic and I feel adrift.
So I am and will be rooting myself in what feels most faithful to my values, my beliefs, my loves, and my curiosities. This feels not only managable but important.
Thank you for sharing your valuable perspectives with us. They are nourishment for our journeys. 🕯
This post was a joy to read... And a very important one, too, for we have noticed an increasing trend in the past few years that people have a really hard time committing to anything. Especially plans nowadays are extremely liminal, and change with each ping of the phone.... It seems to me that smartphones are a big cause of this societal commitment problem, and this is why we find it more and more important to rely on analog ways of communicating, and living. For with technology, plans can change at the drop of a hat!
Wishing you a wondrous day!!!